


Approval Rating

by RealityWithPorn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Humor, Incest, M/M, Season/Series 05, Wincest with awesome Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 09:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2305157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealityWithPorn/pseuds/RealityWithPorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas walks in on Sam and Dean having sex and doesn’t bat an eye. Dean is confused, Sam is mortified, but Cas isn’t human couldn’t care less about their unnatural incestuous love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Approval Rating

All things considered, Dean’s sort of surprised it didn’t happen before this. But in spite of Cas’ ability to appear out of thin air, he wasn’t really around that much before he rebelled.

In short, the situation never came up.

The situation being Sam fucking Dean into the mattress in their motel room of the week, Dean’s legs over his shoulders, when Cas appears unannounced.

Sam freezes, clearly too horrified to keep moving, and Dean’s brain goes blank except for the desperate thought that maybe even Cas could be clueless enough that he won’t realize what’s going on. The guy’s never been laid, after all.

However, Cas only looks down at them, says, “I see you’re busy. I’ll return later,” and vanishes.

Sam’s mouth falls open. He looks at Dean.

“Dude,” Dean says. “What. the. _fuck_.”

~*~

Cas comes back the next morning. Sam immediately goes red and glances down, concentrating on his breakfast like it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen.

“Dean, we need to talk,” Cas says.

“Sure. Right.”

Sam stands up. “I’m gonna go get breakfast. More breakfast,” he adds awkwardly.

As soon as he’s gone, Cas says, “There’s something unusual in Oregon. Possibly related to Lucifer.”

“Uh, okay. We’ll get right on that.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Okay.”

There’s an uncomfortable silence.

“Damn it, aren’t you going to say anything?” Dean demands.

“I didn’t think you’d want to talk about it.”

“I don’t want to fucking talk about it. But Sam is clearly never gonna be able to look you in the eye again, and those aren’t the best working conditions.”

“Ah.” Cas twitches. “My apologies for intruding. I will try to remember that humans need time to do… stuff,” he says, echoing words Dean threw at him weeks ago. “Even if I know where you are, I will call first.”

Dean stares at him. He and Cas are clearly having different conversations.

“Look, man, I don’t care about getting caught with my pants down. It happened, big deal. But don’t you have anything to say about the fact that me and Sam are sharing personal time?”

Cas frowns. “Why would I?”

“Because brothers don’t fuck each other! It’s not normal.”

“And everything else in your lives is, of course.”

Dean glares. “I never should have taught you sarcasm. Look, it’s just—”

Cas cuts him off. “You love Sam more than anyone. And you told me that expressing love physically is best done with a person you deeply care for. Is that not correct?”

Dean vaguely remembers saying something cheesy like that to make Cas feel better after the brothel visit that didn’t take.

“So you’re not gonna be weird about this?”

Cas tilts his head. “Dean, this is not new information for me. I’ve known all of you since I touched you in Hell.”

Well, that’s not disturbing at all.

“Besides,” Cas adds, “Brothers and sisters married in the Bible.”

And that is apparently that.

Unfortunately, it still goes downhill from there.

Cas turns out to be the ultimate cockblock. Sam is still having a freakout that night.

Despite Cas not even being in the room, despite Dean assuring Sam that Cas isn’t going to suddenly appear, Sam can’t get it up, won’t even try to get it up. The idea that Cas had seen them, _knows_ about them is some sort of gigantic mood killer.

Sam is lying on his bed, fully clothed, with his arms crossed as he makes a bitchface at the ceiling.

“It’s just weird, Dean! No one’s ever known before.”

“Yeah, except for all those people who mistake us for a couple. Except wait—not actually a mistake.”

Sam glares. “You know what I mean.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Now that I’m not your dirty little secret, the magic’s gone. Well, it was fun while it lasted.”

“Dean, be serious about this.”

“I am serious. You’re the one that’s throwing a gigantic hissy fit.”

“Cas _knows_ ,” Sam repeats for like the thirty-seventh time.

“And?”

“Shouldn’t we be getting some righteous fury or something?”

“Dude, this is so far down on our list of sins that it’s not even funny. Besides, Cas said he’s always known.”

That gets Sam’s attention in a whole new way. “What?” he says sharply.

Dean shrugs. “Something creepy about how he touched my soul in Hell and knows every bit of me. Guess that includes the brother fucking.” He grins. “So last night was less of a coming out than a walking in, huh?”

“Oh my God,” Sam says, mortified. He gets up. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Dean wiggles his eyebrows. “Join you?”

“No!”

The door to the bathroom slams.

Dean waits a moment, before he takes out his phone.

 _Sam still upset_ he texts to Cas.

A moment later, he receives a reply. _Would it help if I spoke with him?_

_couldn’t hurt_

_I’ll go see him now._

Dean shuts his phone and waits.

The shriek Sam makes a moment later is totally worth it.

~*~

Dean forgot how much fun road trips with Cas weren’t. When Cas said that he was coming with them to Oregon, Dean assumed Cas would meet them there. But apparently Cas has nothing better to do, and he’s now firmly planted in the backseat.

It’s nice for a while, the three of them silently listening to Dean’s music.

Then Cas speaks.

“Your souls shine very brightly together.”

Sam makes a choking noise.

Dean wishes it was only the Apocalypse he has do deal with.

“It’s beautiful,” Cas says. “There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of, Sam.”

“Yeah, Sammy, don’t be ashamed of me.”

Sam turns red. Then he glares, collecting himself. “Cas, tell Dean I’m not speaking to him.”

“Dean, Sam says he’s—”

“I heard him!”

“Cas, tell Dean that if he was taking this seriously, he wouldn’t have told you to come talk to me when I was in the shower.”

“Cas, tell Sam to lighten up.”

“Cas, tell Dean to shove it.”

“Cas is on my side here, Sam! You’re the one suddenly having a crisis. We’re all cool with our incestuous affair.”

Dean sees Cas nodding in the rearview mirror. “You are all God’s children.”

“See?” Dean says. “Some of us are just more closely related than others.”

Sam slouches down in his seat as far as he can manage, looking cross.

Dean turns up the music.

Despite the fact that Cas has apparently always known, Dean doesn’t consider that Cas is going to start acting differently since they’re talking about it.

At the diner later, Cas asks Dean whether Dean would like to sit beside or across from Sam, which was… awkward with the waitress standing right there.

Then, while they’re eating, Cas randomly says, “Does Bobby know?”

Sam almost spits out his drink. “No!”

“No one knows, Cas,” Dean says. “That’s the point. We don’t tell anyone.”

“So you would not have told me?”

“No, not really,” Dean admits.

Cas frowns. “I thought we were friends.”

Sam leans forward. “Look, Cas, people don’t—don’t sleep together—” he lowers his voice “—if they’re related. Okay? Most cultures consider it taboo.”

“Taboo,” Cas repeats. The word seems to snap something into place for him. “I understand. Angels have taboos as well. I broke several for your brother.”

“Well, then,” Dean says, “We’re all in good company. Who wants pie?”

~*~

At a motel that night, the man behind the counter gives them a knowing look when they all come into the office.

“So what’ll it be?” he asks.

“Two queens,” Dean says.

The guy raises an eyebrow, smirking. “You boys need a rollaway, or are two of you going to share?”

Dean glances at Cas, sure he’s going to blurt out something about beautiful love, but the word ‘taboo’ seems to have gotten the point across. Cas looks as blank as ever.

“No rollaway,” Sam speaks up as he digs out his wallet. Then he smiles and gestures between Dean and Cas. “They’re sharing.” 

Dean glares. He most definitely is _not_ sharing with Cas. Cas doesn’t even sleep.

Sam is clearly getting his revenge for the shower thing. “We’re all adults here. Right, Cas?”

Sam gives Dean a playful shove into Cas, who looks like he knows he’s missing something, but isn’t sure what.

Dean takes the key, scowling. He gives Cas a push to get him moving.

Cas nods. Then he looks at the clerk seriously and says, “I can assure you, we’re not brothers.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been translated into Polish [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1178401)!


End file.
